About me - Part 2

I was disappointed that I wasn't able to "go away" for college so I chose to live on campus. My college was less than 30 minutes from my parents home but I needed to get out. I moved into a co-ed dorm. The floors were gender exclusive but there were boys on the next floor up or down. I wasn't too interested in church or institute. I met some friends that had all attended high school together. We had lots of fun together and they were all LDS. I had a lot of fun with the group of girls that I shared my floor with. My first encounter with a college athlete did not end well. He pushed things beyond my comfort level and I got scared. I was afraid that I would get in trouble because I had invited him over and it was past curfew. When I shared my story, I found that I was not the only person who had this experience with this guy and he was eventually kicked off the basketball team and out of school. I spent more time playing than I did in class.

A friend introduced me to Seth. He was a great guy. He used to whistle at me on campus. I fell for him, hard and fast. I spent all of my waking moments with him. One of my roommates slipped a note under my door. She said that I needed to be careful and remember who I was. I disregarded her warning as jealousy. I became ill that spring. I suffered from appendicitis as well as an ovarian cyst. Seth was by my side through it all. He even came to the hospital to stay with me at night after school and work. I remember that he got in trouble for coming on base without a military id. Back then, you could drive on base without an ID as long as there was a sticker on the car. They had asked him for ID at the gate and my dad had to explain the situation. I dropped out of school and moved home. I was anxious to spend time with Seth though. We usually slept at his apartment. We went to his parents house each Sunday for family dinner. I was much more interested in spending time with his family than with mine. My mom's dad had been diagnosed with cancer and I chose not to spend time with him. I think I only went to the hospital once or twice to visit him. I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't realize that he was dying. Seth's parents chose to buy a house near the college and asked if I wanted to move into the basement.

I got pregnant in November of 1997. My dad's father had been hospitalized. I went with my dad to Idaho to be with my grandpa. He and I were always close and I felt like I needed to be with him. He was in the hospital. We spent our days at the hospital and nights at my grandparents house. We even spent Thanksgiving with some of my dad's family that I had never met. My grandpa seemed to be improving so my dad and I came home. As soon as we arrived, there was a phone call saying that my Grandpa had suffered a stroke and he would not make it. We packed up again and headed back to Idaho this time with my mom and brother. Our family had gathered for the last moments with my Grandpa. I spoke with my cousin and aunt often about my pregnancy worries. I knew that they would love and support me. My Grandpa took his last breath on December 1st. My mom, dad and I were all in the room with him. I went to notify the nurse that he had passed. We then began the funeral planning and packing up my grandparents house.

We came home and I took a test on December 9th. Seth was in disbelief. I went by myself to a pregnancy clinic for another test. It was confirmed that I was pregnant. I knew this was the worst time ever to tell my parents that I was going to have a baby. My dad's father had just passed away and my mom's father had been sent home with hospice care. Oh and Christmas was in a few short weeks. I called my mom and told her over the phone, the line became silent. I'm sure she had no idea how to respond. I honestly don't remember how I told my dad. When Seth told his parents, I was told that I needed to move out of the house because I wasn't following by church standards. (Seriously, if you put a 19 year old college couple in the same house...)  I moved home. We then made another trek. This time it was to Montana to spend the holidays with my mom's side of the family. I was under strict instructions to not share any news about my pregnancy in front of my mom's parents. They were dealing with enough and didn't need to know. My mom's dad passed away at the beginning of January of 1998.